Artemis Fowl: Random Nanos
by FlamingWingsAndFrozenHearts
Summary: Nanometer long stories about totally random stuff that occurs in the lives of the Artemis Fowl characters. Rated T for exessecive cussing and some sexual stuff. Mostly cussing.
1. NO MORE DÉJÀ-VÜ!

**This is a collection of totally random, nanometer long stories that I add to when I'm bored. This will be getting updated frequently, as school ends June 5. Yay! Also, please leave me your random nano ideas in a review. I don't need a book., just a title or vague idea. THX!**

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Artemis walked through the door to find a delighted-looking elf mouth-to-mouth with a red-faced centaur, especially when that centaur saw him and tried to get the elf off of him. Holly reluctantly let go of Foaly's tongue, then saw Artemis and ran over to him and pinned him to the ground. She pressed her mouth to his and...

He woke up, sweaty with his arms around his pillow. He pressed the pillow to his face, screamed until his throat was sore, and hoped for all the world that he never experienced déjà-vü again, just in case it happened to be that dream that came true. Then he called Butler to his room and ordered a dart board and a couple throwing darts for the hell of it. The darts landed on the piano and on the door. Needless to say, Artemis couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. Then he heard a strange noise outside, and looked to see what it was. It was raining, but not raining water. Under closer examination, the strange, colorful spheres(I didn't say balls for a reason)proved to be gum balls. "Hmmm", Artemis mused. "How odd." That was all. Which proves how much the dream upset the poor boy.

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 **No, it's not s'posed to have a plot and yes it's fine if the characters are a little OOC as long as it fits in with the nano. And no they don't have to make sense. I mean, IT'S FREAKIN RAININ GUMBALLS! ^ |||**


	2. A Drunk Fowl

**Thanx to** jayjthebigmouth **for suggesting this title. Hope you're happy with what came out.**

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Holly was bored.

Trouble was bored.

Mulch was bored.

Foaly was bored.

They were all in Foaly's office/lab where they were doing nothing except being bored. Then Holly had an idea. If Artemis were there, he would've called it genius.

Holly sat straight up and yelled "LIGHTBULB!". Trouble, who was sitting on the chair next to her, literally fell out of his chair in shock. Holly giggled, and suggested her idea to the group, who nodded and smirked evil smirks worthy of competition to Artemis's evil smirks.

Fifteen minutes later, Holly had an iris cam in her right eye and a mic in her ear. She had wings on her back, a bag of bottles of tea, and a pass to get on the next shuttle going to Tara.

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"Come in", Artemis called in response to the knock at the door. Holly walked in, carrying a glass bottle. She held it out to him. "Here, Artemis, try this."

Artemis looked at the bottle suspiciously. "What is it?"

"It's tea." Sure enough, the bottle said "Twisted Tea" on the label. Too bad he didn't see the part that said "8% Alcohol".

Artemis took it and drank a sip. He nodded. "This is good tea. Better than Earl Grey." Poor Arty.

When he finished the bottle, he asked for, and received a second, and a third. Holly didn't give him any more, because at that point Artemis was very drunk. Holly was in a giggling fit when he said something he shouldn't have said.

"You know, Holly," he slurred, "you're real hot. And I don' mean fire hot. I mean sexy hot."

Holly had no response to that, except to remind the fairies looking through her eye at this that Artemis was very drunk.

" 'Member Rathdown, Holly? 'Member when we–"

"Okay, that's enough. Arty, sweetie, why don't you go to bed?"

The drunk boy smiled. "Why don' you come with me, babe? We could pro'b'ly make pretty babies."

That's when Holly punched him so hard that he was knocked unconscious. She then shut her right eye while she dragged Arty to his room and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Of course, Foaly saved the video, and watched it whenever he was sad, mad, or bored. It always made him laugh his horsey head off.

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 **Artemis: Great, so I annoy and embarrass Holly while I'm drunk. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?(gives me pleading look)**

 **Me:(evil smirk) It's not my fault, a faithful and loyal reviewer suggested it. I just put it into words. (evil chuckle)**

 **Remember to leave your story ideas in reviews. Also, 1 being least and 10 being most, rate the funniness of this chapter on a scale from 1 to 10. (gives out Kit-Kats to people who review.)**


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